Danish Cold-table and Illegal Sandwich Eating: Funny Story

So, nearly every year we have this thing on my mom's viking side of the family (which is Danish) called a Cold Table (aka Det Store Kolde Bord -- don't ask me how to pronounce that, I don't know!)

Now for those of you who don't know, a cold table actually isn't a table that's cold (yeah I know! The name is so misleading, right?) but a buffet sorta thing that serves, well, cold food! There is herring (seel), and cheese, stjerneskud (translation: shooting star. Cool, right?), dyrlaegens natmad, and other various foods I cannot pronounce. And last, but certainly not least, there are OPEN SANDWICHES. Which, by American definition, are not sandwiches at all but bread with stuff on them...that you eat with forks...yeah. So, I always had a issue with them. I mean, why eat a sandwich with a fork and knife when you can eat it with your hands much quicker? Plus, when are Danes so civilized? I thought we were vikings. Somehow plundering villages doesn't seem that civilized to me, but I guess I wouldn't know.

Anyway, back to my point, this whole open sandwich thing didn't work for me, nor did the "no using bare hands" rule. But I was very clever, or so I thought, and decided I KNOW! I can use my fork and knife as hands. So, I put my sandwich together using my fork and knife and then held it up, with one utensil on the bottom and the other on top, while my Mormor (mother's mother) stared at me with wide eyes and made a comment about how my Morfa's (mother's father) Mor (mother) is probably rolling in her grave.

The end.

Yeah, sorry, couldn't think of a paragraph to tie all these together.

Moral of story: In Denmark, do not use fork and knife as hands or a lot of Danish zombies might kill you.

Comments

How Saint Philomena Found me a Husband

By Cara E. Ruegg You often hear it said, “To Saint Philomena, God refuses nothing.” Saint John Vianney was the author of those words. He loved Philomena. Pauline Jaricot, another devotee of Philomena, who was alive during the Cure’s time and who was healed by Philomena herself, came to him one day with relics of this dear saint, and told him, “Have full confidence in this great saint; she will obtain for you all that you ask.” John Vianney claims he felt a love enkindled in his heart for Philomena soon as he got hold of her relics. He often referred to her as his “dear little saint”, going so far as to blame all the miracles wrought through him, on her. In fact, when he was at death’s door and the doctors had given up all hope of his recovery, it was through the intercession of Philomena that he was miraculously cured. (www.philomena.org/vianney.asp) Despite all this, despite the fact so many saints and even popes have praised her to the skies, I never tho...

Novena to Saints Zelie and Louis Martin

So, while they do exist, I know I struggled to find a novena to Saints Louis and Zélie Martin online, so I've decided to write my own. Novena to Sts. Louis and Zélie Martin Saint Louis and Zélie Martin, you were parents to one of the greatest saints of modern times, you always gave God the first say, and you practiced an amazing resignation to His holy will. I ask you both to please come to my aid, help me in my needs; I place my worries at your feet. Please pray for this special intention of mine (list intention), please beg God, on behalf of your loyalty and love of Him, and on behalf of your saintly children, to grant my request. I have full confidence in your intercession. God answered so many of your requests; you asked for a missionary and behold your daughter has been declared a patroness of missionaries! And He blessed all your living children with vocations just as you requested Him to. I beseech you, in your mercy, to hear me, to pray ...

Louis Martin: A Heroic Father and Sufferer of Mental Illness

A Family of Saints: Part Three By Cara E. Ruegg Therese walking with her father -- The discovery of Orion Picture of Therese praying with her father After Zelie Martin’s death, Mme. Guérin, taking to heart Zelie’s dying request, suggested to Louis that he move to Lisieux so as to be closer to her and Zelie’s brother. This would become a new home to the Martin children, and Mme. Guérin another mother. However, Louis Martin, was initially torn at the prospect of moving. His aged mother lived in Alençon and family graves resided there; he also was quite fond of the countryside and many of his close friends and his confessor advised against his moving. Louis turned to his two eldest and said to them, “I am asking your advice, children, because it will be solely on your account that I make this sacrifice, and I would not wish to impose one upon you also.” Both girls assured him they only wanted his happiness, but he figured out their desires, and selflessly p...

C.Ruegg

Search This Blog