Saint John Bosco is known for his care for the youth. His methods were perhaps seen as “new age” during his time, even though he drew inspiration from those before him such as St. Francis de Sales. His methods clearly bore good fruit, however, despite scrutiny from others. Under his care arose a great saint: Dominic Savio. He likewise converted many who were seen as hopeless cases.
Below I have summarized one of Don Bosco’s writings: The Preventative System. In it, he outlines his discipline methods that bore such good fruit. I feel it can be easily applied both to educators as well as parents.
Corporal Punishment is Largely Ineffective
Don Bosco says, "With the young, punishment is everything that is meant as a punishment. Thus it is known that a reproachful look is more effective than a blow...To strike one in anyway...and other similar punishments should be absolutely avoided." (pg 3)
Punishment Should be Administered Privately
"Except in very rare instances, corrections and punishments should not be given in public, but privately...and the greatest prudence and patience must be used to bring the pupil to see his fault, by aid of reason and religion." (pg 3) The rare instances he gives permission to correct publicly would be in cases of serious scandal (pg 5).
If they Love You, it is More Effective
"Every educator must make himself loved if he wishes to be feared. He will attain this great end if he makes it clear by his words, and still more by his actions, that all his care and solicitude are directed toward the spiritual and temporal welfare of his pupils." (pg 3)
Punishment Should be the Last Resort
"Punishment should be your last resort," says Don Bosco, "No doubt, it is ten times easier to lose our patience than to control it, to threaten a boy than to persuade him. No doubt, too, it is much more gratifying -- to our pride to punish those who resist us, than to bear them with firm kindness.”
Don Bosco's goal was not to force his students to obey, but to persuade them to do so. He did not want them to do good simply because they feared the negative consequences, but to do so because they loved. "In this system, all force must be excluded, and in its place, charity must be the mainspring of action...Charity is the cure-all though it may be slow in affecting its cure,” he said.
Tips and Tricks
“If possible, never make use of punishments.”
Look for the Why
Don Bosco pointed out that boys often commit faults through thoughtlessness and at other times there are hidden motives. When Don Bosco would on occasion inquire with kindness why the boys had misbehaved, they would tell him.(pg 6)
Be a Good Example
“To learn how to command we must first learn to obey; and to make ourselves feared we must first make ourselves loved.”
“Master your own character, and then you will succeed in mastering those of your pupils.”
Right Time, Right Place
“Choose an opportune moment for correction,” says Don Bosco, “Nothing is more dangerous than giving medicine at the wrong moment, and a wise doctor bides his time in applying his prescription.” He warns that if you betray the “least sign of weakness, of passion, of impatience,” that your authority will not “long endure” and that “your punishment will not be taken as a remedy for the boy’s fault, but as a vent for your own passion. It can bear no fruit!”
He also emphasizes that one should not correct when the child is still angry since “a correction given at that time would only serve to embitter him all the more.” He suggests giving the child time to reflect, “to enter into himself” (pg 6).
Remain Calm
Don Bosco wrote that we are to imitate Our Lord who came to obey, not to command, and that we should reject any air of superiority. “Self-control must rule our whole being,” he says, “When someone is at fault, arouse sympathy in your heart.” He suggested praying humbly to God when tempted to correct out of anger. He also spoke of a story of St. Francis de Sales. Apparently the saint was criticized for not punishing a boy who seriously offended his mother more harshly. The saint replied, “A sharp correction would certainly have done him no good and would have brought great harm to me. By becoming angry with him, I would have imitated a man who drowns himself in an effort to save another.” (pg 8)
Correctional Techniques
“Be exacting when it is a matter of duty, firm in the pursuit of good, courageous in preventing evil, but always gentle and prudent”
Refrain some Signs of Affection:
Don Bosco suggests that withholding some of the usual favour or affection that was previously shown to this pupil could do the trick to help them reflect and repent, but he cautions not to use this technique if the pupil is in obvious need of consolation.
Make use of a Third Person:
Don Bosco points out that sometimes it is good to use a third person to correct the one at fault if that person would be more likely to move them to repentance. He suggests someone who the culprit will be more likely to open up and confide in.
Make Intentions Clear:
“Let the one you correct understand that you act out of duty and according to reason,” he says, “Try to make him realize his fault, and that it deserves punishment. Then mitigate it…assure him that by his good conduct in the future that he will make up for past failings.”
Offer a Word of Comfort:
Because correction can often bring about anxiety, Don Bosco suggests a word of comfort be given. “A person who forgets, and helps the culprit to forget is a true educator.” He reminds us that Our Lord, to make Peter realize his guilt, made use only of a father’s glance. “A kind word or a glance does more to encourage than a severe reprimand,” he says.
Forms of Punishments
“No one cultivates a tender plant with harsh treatments.”
Reproachful Look, then a Word in Private:
Don Bosco first suggests simply a severe look be directed to the guilty. This can allow the person to reflect on their fault and hopefully repent. Then, a word can be given in private. “Instil in the young the desire of reward or the thought of doing honour to their dear ones,” he says.
Warn Them:
If they continue to repeat the same faults, Don Bosco says you can warn them in more serious terms, and also compare your behaviour toward them with theirs toward you. This being said, he still insists that one should “never stoop to humiliating expressions; on the contrary, [you should] make it clear that you entertain high hopes for them and assure them that you are ready to forget their faults as soon as they take a turn for the better.” (pg 9)
Expulsion:
Don Bosco does say when there is serious scandal or sin, that expulsion (since his guidelines do refer to the school environment) may need to be resorted to, but Don Bosco insists the culprit should not be denied the moral support to protect his good name.
Sources:
The Preventive System of Don Bosco found here: https://www.slideshare.net/mobile/packman737/discipline-of-st-john-bosco
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