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Infant Loss Awareness: A message to Women who Lost their Children, even at the earliest stage

A message to Women who Lost their Children, even at the earliest stage
By: Cara Ruegg



This month commemorates Infant Loss and Miscarriage awareness. I find this cross is especially hard in today's society where the unborn or even the born are not considered by a crazy amount of people as being human, in a world where people don't even bat an eyelash at abortion and a doctor makes the recommendation to a broken mother and refers to the child as a "fetus" or by any term that suggests it is not a baby, not her child, that she is not and never was a mother. The Catholic belief that a child is a child, and a woman becomes a mother at the moment of conception is incredibly consoling to these women who otherwise may feel ashamed and as if their loss is belittled or misunderstood by a world that does not even recognize the child as ever being a child, just a piece of tissue, or worse: a parasite.

Imagine being a mother to a lovely child, who grew up to be maybe twelve or so, and then imagine that child's life snatched from you. At least the world will recognize that child as being a human being though and will support you in your grief and acknowledge your grief as being very real and very reasonable. In retrospect, imagine a woman who loses her baby at six weeks. She just found out she was pregnant. She had been struggling for years. She loved this child before she even got the test that said: Positive. Then she loses this baby. Maybe a body isn't even found. But, unlike the other mother, this mother is ashamed; she covers up her grief. She feels misunderstood. People don't mourn her for having a miscarriage like they would the other mother largely because society tries to brainwash us into thinking that that child is and never was a child, that it was too soon for it to be human, and that a mother cannot be a mother until she actually gives birth.

So, this month, I would like to let those women who have suffered miscarriage know that there are others who recognize their grief as valid, that recognize their baby as a baby and recognize them as a mother.


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