Skip to main content

Infant Loss Awareness: A message to Women who Lost their Children, even at the earliest stage

A message to Women who Lost their Children, even at the earliest stage
By: Cara Ruegg



This month commemorates Infant Loss and Miscarriage awareness. I find this cross is especially hard in today's society where the unborn or even the born are not considered by a crazy amount of people as being human, in a world where people don't even bat an eyelash at abortion and a doctor makes the recommendation to a broken mother and refers to the child as a "fetus" or by any term that suggests it is not a baby, not her child, that she is not and never was a mother. The Catholic belief that a child is a child, and a woman becomes a mother at the moment of conception is incredibly consoling to these women who otherwise may feel ashamed and as if their loss is belittled or misunderstood by a world that does not even recognize the child as ever being a child, just a piece of tissue, or worse: a parasite.

Imagine being a mother to a lovely child, who grew up to be maybe twelve or so, and then imagine that child's life snatched from you. At least the world will recognize that child as being a human being though and will support you in your grief and acknowledge your grief as being very real and very reasonable. In retrospect, imagine a woman who loses her baby at six weeks. She just found out she was pregnant. She had been struggling for years. She loved this child before she even got the test that said: Positive. Then she loses this baby. Maybe a body isn't even found. But, unlike the other mother, this mother is ashamed; she covers up her grief. She feels misunderstood. People don't mourn her for having a miscarriage like they would the other mother largely because society tries to brainwash us into thinking that that child is and never was a child, that it was too soon for it to be human, and that a mother cannot be a mother until she actually gives birth.

So, this month, I would like to let those women who have suffered miscarriage know that there are others who recognize their grief as valid, that recognize their baby as a baby and recognize them as a mother.


Comments

  1. The Fashionable HousewifeOctober 19, 2018 at 10:05 AM

    I love your writing and would love to have you contribute on my blog! Please email me or hit me up on Facebook!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How Saint Philomena Found me a Husband

By Cara E. Ruegg You often hear it said, “To Saint Philomena, God refuses nothing.” Saint John Vianney was the author of those words. He loved Philomena. Pauline Jaricot, another devotee of Philomena, who was alive during the Cure’s time and who was healed by Philomena herself, came to him one day with relics of this dear saint, and told him, “Have full confidence in this great saint; she will obtain for you all that you ask.”   John Vianney claims he felt a love enkindled in his heart for Philomena soon as he got hold of her relics. He often referred to her as his “dear little saint”, going so far as to blame all the miracles wrought through him, on her. In fact, when he was at death’s door and the doctors had given up all hope of his recovery, it was through the intercession of Philomena that he was miraculously cured. (www.philomena.org/vianney.asp) Despite all this, despite the fact so many saints and even popes have praised her to the skies, I never thought
4 comments
Read more

St. Don Bosco's Discipline Methods

By: Cara E. Ruegg Saint John Bosco is known for his care for the youth. His methods were perhaps seen as “new age” during his time, even though he drew inspiration from those before him such as St. Francis de Sales. His methods clearly bore good fruit, however, despite scrutiny from others. Under his care arose a great saint: Dominic Savio. He likewise converted many who were seen as hopeless cases. Below I have summarized one of Don Bosco’s writings: The Preventative System . In it, he outlines his discipline methods that bore such good fruit. I feel it can be easily applied both to educators as well as parents. Corporal Punishment is Largely Ineffective   Don Bosco says, "With the young, punishment is everything that is meant as a punishment. Thus it is known that a reproachful look is more effective than a blow...To strike one in anyway...and other similar punishments should be absolutely avoided." (pg 3) Punishment Should be Administered Privately "Except in very
Post a Comment
Read more

My Home Water Birth During a Snowstorm

By: Cara E. Ruegg You were four days late and I was anxious for your arrival. My last midwife appointment, I was told I was measuring two weeks ahead; it was implied maybe I had gestational diabetes after all but I had been monitoring my sugars with my glucometer, something I thought far more accurate anyway, and fasting and after meals was still normal even with dessert, so I don’t think it was that. The midwife suggested I consider an ultrasound to check your weight to see if we should do the hospital route. She said she was trained to handle shoulder dystocia even at home but would prefer more hands. I remembered with your brother how inaccurate that last ultrasound was, nearly two pounds off. I also later did research and found maternal outcomes were better when the woman didn’t know her child would be big. It made sense. Fear is the enemy of labour. I was told though if you came before the ultrasound, we’d just go ahead with the home birth, so I was now ready for you to come, wher
Post a Comment
Read more