Skip to main content

The What If’s When the Relationship Ends


By Cara E. Ruegg

Painting Sold Here

Maybe if I hid my insecurities better, he wouldn’t have left…

Maybe if I didn’t say, “I love you”, he wouldn’t have said, “Goodbye”.

Maybe if I played hard to get…

Maybe if I didn’t call so much…

Maybe this and maybe that, but, honestly what good does speculating and blaming ourselves do when a relationship ends? I can’t tell you how many times in relationships I did the same thing, but it was a waste of time and more than once it wasn’t my fault anyway and the guy was just manipulating me to think it was, or didn’t know what he wanted, or wasn’t right for me. I was over here trying to change myself because I never imagined a man would love me for me, but then I found my husband, Brian. Don’t make yourself crazy with the “what if’s”; God doesn’t disturb the soul like that. 

It’s true, we can learn lessons from failed relationships. It’s also true that sometimes it is our fault, for instance, if we were dishonest with who we were involved with or cheated on them, but I’m not really referring to those cases here in my article. I’m referring to those cases where the flaws were more imperfections or personality traits that didn’t mesh well with the other person, or really minor failings that in itself shouldn’t drive a relationship to the ground. 

The devil loves to cause the soul anxiety. I don’t think a break-up ever happened to me personally where right after I didn’t analyze and re-analyze, and do somersaults in my head trying to figure out what I did wrong. I wasted a lot of time and energy doing that and only prolonged the hurt. If I had simply put it in God’s hands and trusted Him more I would’ve healed a whole lot sooner. 

My advice to you is to place your sadness at His wounded feet and trust Him. Let it go. Who knows why this relationship ended, if it was your fault or not, if anything done differently on your part would’ve made a difference or not. Just trust Him. You may not know, but He does. He has allowed this evil for a greater good. This heartache you face now, these broken pieces laid out before you might actually serve to draw you closer to the person you are meant to be with. 

Around the time Brian and I were introduced, I was casually dating someone else. This man was nice enough, but he wasn’t the man I was meant to marry. When things ended between us, I was devastated, but if things hadn’t ended when they did and if I didn’t have some time to get over it, I may have never ended up with my husband who, all-in-all was a much better choice and more than I could’ve dreamed of! 

Trust in God. Stop driving yourself insane guilt-tripping yourself. It could be this break-up saved you from a lifetime of heartache married to a person you would’ve never been happy with. 















Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

How Saint Philomena Found me a Husband

By Cara E. Ruegg You often hear it said, “To Saint Philomena, God refuses nothing.” Saint John Vianney was the author of those words. He loved Philomena. Pauline Jaricot, another devotee of Philomena, who was alive during the Cure’s time and who was healed by Philomena herself, came to him one day with relics of this dear saint, and told him, “Have full confidence in this great saint; she will obtain for you all that you ask.”   John Vianney claims he felt a love enkindled in his heart for Philomena soon as he got hold of her relics. He often referred to her as his “dear little saint”, going so far as to blame all the miracles wrought through him, on her. In fact, when he was at death’s door and the doctors had given up all hope of his recovery, it was through the intercession of Philomena that he was miraculously cured. (www.philomena.org/vianney.asp) Despite all this, despite the fact so many saints and even popes have praised her to the skies, I never thought
4 comments
Read more

St. Don Bosco's Discipline Methods

By: Cara E. Ruegg Saint John Bosco is known for his care for the youth. His methods were perhaps seen as “new age” during his time, even though he drew inspiration from those before him such as St. Francis de Sales. His methods clearly bore good fruit, however, despite scrutiny from others. Under his care arose a great saint: Dominic Savio. He likewise converted many who were seen as hopeless cases. Below I have summarized one of Don Bosco’s writings: The Preventative System . In it, he outlines his discipline methods that bore such good fruit. I feel it can be easily applied both to educators as well as parents. Corporal Punishment is Largely Ineffective   Don Bosco says, "With the young, punishment is everything that is meant as a punishment. Thus it is known that a reproachful look is more effective than a blow...To strike one in anyway...and other similar punishments should be absolutely avoided." (pg 3) Punishment Should be Administered Privately "Except in very
Post a Comment
Read more

My Home Water Birth During a Snowstorm

By: Cara E. Ruegg You were four days late and I was anxious for your arrival. My last midwife appointment, I was told I was measuring two weeks ahead; it was implied maybe I had gestational diabetes after all but I had been monitoring my sugars with my glucometer, something I thought far more accurate anyway, and fasting and after meals was still normal even with dessert, so I don’t think it was that. The midwife suggested I consider an ultrasound to check your weight to see if we should do the hospital route. She said she was trained to handle shoulder dystocia even at home but would prefer more hands. I remembered with your brother how inaccurate that last ultrasound was, nearly two pounds off. I also later did research and found maternal outcomes were better when the woman didn’t know her child would be big. It made sense. Fear is the enemy of labour. I was told though if you came before the ultrasound, we’d just go ahead with the home birth, so I was now ready for you to come, wher
Post a Comment
Read more